Posted Tuesday 23rd June 2015
We’re excited about our warehouse in Acton and its 150 connected trampolines but everything’s moving so quickly we’re losing track of what’s important. The park is looking great.
We’re also getting stuck in on Twitter having sent 147 tweets in a week at time of writing.
It was all going well until Little O sauntered over to our porta-cabin in the parking lot here in Acton. He questioned our use of “The Air is Better Up Here” as a strapline. He basically said, “Prove it.” Head of Strategy Stephen, looking a bit defensive, said it wasn’t a scientific claim. Little O said, “Well it should be” and then David, our CEO, said those five words that you should never ever say to Little O. Those words, of course, are “Well, get on with it.”
Before you could say “taken for a ride by a fluffy O-shaped con artist” our hyperactive mascot com-missioned a jumping scientist to actually test every inch of air above our trampolines. This ‘jumpolo-gist” who goes by the name of Dr L. O. has been jumping around the place like a mad thing for weeks. We haven’t seen him because he is “intimidated by men in hard hats and bright jackets,” but he’s been very busy flying around the place at night supposedly.
Little O on why he hired Dr L. O. “He’s the man. He doesn’t want a single child to jump into air space that hadn’t been optimised for fun.”
After weeks of the doctor flying around the place on his jet pack, Little O was ready to interview him. He sat him down in what will be the cafe and gallery area overlooking the trampolines.
Note for folks who’ve read our previous interview https://oxygenfreejumping.co.uk/2015/06/10/meet-little-o/ with Little O: Our amazing coffee machine hadn’t arrived so there was no fear of our jumpy little O caus-ing mass coffee spillage. This is the result of their chinwag and jet pack ride(s) together.
Little O: So Dr L. O., you’ve been flying around here for weeks with my brilliant red jet pack, furiously scribbling notes in that secret notepad of yours. What does this mean?
(Little O pointing to a random page in the notebook.)
Dr L.O.: That is my jump food shopping list. Jumping makes me hungry for carrots, kale and rocket.
Little O: DaddiO calls that jump food!
Dr L.O: I love it so much and I can fit loads of it in my O-Zone
(Little O points to his O-shaped mid-section cavity).
Little O: Me too. My bosses here at Oxygen seemed to be into healthy snacks as well!
Little O: That’s probably for the adults who are sitting here in the cafe feeling a bit lazy as they watch their kids having all the fun. So tell me about what you’ve been up to — all this jumpology stuff?
Dr. L.O.: Well, you’ve seen me around here. We’ve been on your jet pack after all.
Little O: Journalists ask questions they know the answers to already. Just go with it.
Dr L. O.: I’ve been testing all the air in the place — even the air WAY UP THERE near the ceil-ing where only superheroes will dare to go.
(The doctor points to the ridiculously high ceilings)
Little O: I’ve really enjoyed throwing dodge balls at you. I’m getting better at hitting the target eh?
Dr. L.O.: No comment. You know that slows me down. And science takes time.
Little O: I know you’ve got a bee in your bonnet about child safety here at the park, but do you think all the air above the trampolines can be 100% safe?
Dr L.O.: I have seven professional qualifications in the science of jumping. I guarantee you the air will be 100% safe or I will not allow this park to open on the 20th of July.
Little O: I love how your cheeks turn red when you use your “I’m a bit of a big deal” threatening voice. Don’t you think it’s better to make sure that it’s safe down on the ground as well?
Dr L.O.: Your bosses have been hiring and training loads of safety monitors non-stop for that. I know that’s important to parents but that’s not my area of expertise. Can you imagine a guy like me having spent 14 years studying something so grounded in, well, the ground?
Little O: I get it. You’re an air head. You literally filled your brain with air and air science for so long that you’ve lost touch with what’s happening here on the terra firma.
Dr L.O.: Are you belittling the air and jump sciences? Who’s team are you on?
Little O: I’m on the fun team. That’s what I’m about. I’ve let you ride on my jet pack with me for the last few weeks.
Dr L.O.: I’m fun too. I just know that this park is going to be full of children very soon and while they might only be half as talented in the art of trampolining as you and I, we still need to make sure that everything here is in the best condition possible.
Little O: Humans? Half as talented? Before you know it, this place is going to be full of professional jumpers. Folks looking to Rio 2016. These athletes might be half as talented as us, but the regular jumpers — let’s call him random Ealing School Child 1 and 2 —they’ve probably only got a tenth of what we’ve got in these jump socks
(Little O pointing to their feet that have magically popped out of the bottom of their O’s).
Dr L.O.: Well, that all puts it into perspective for me. Thanks, Little O. The bottom line is that these humans should just have a good time in the tenth of the air space they occupy, I guess. Maybe my scientific mind is lost on most of the folks here. Thanks for the massive buzz kill.
Little O: I hired you, mate. Well, I bought you cake at least. I think there’s something to “The Air is Better Up Here” and I appreciate your efforts to test its validity.
Dr L.O: I think maybe we’ve thought about it too much. My brain hurts now.
Little O: Let’s get some crisps and do what we do best: another few Figure 8’s on my jet pack. The park is open in a few weeks and there’s a lot more fun to be had here before we have to share it with 140 kids with runny noses and/or over-active sweat glands.
Dr L.O: To the jet pack, sir?
Little O: I thought you’d never ask, Doctor Little O also known as “me myself and I.” Fun interview eh, self? Now let’s get some more selfies on that jet pack of yours?
Oxygen Freejumping opens to the public on 20 July and every inch of both ground and air will be tested for safety by that point. In both a very real and imagined sort of way.