Posted Wednesday 10th June 2015
I am an enthusiastic O-shaped ambassador for everything related to the joy of jumping.
We were going to write a glowing piece about our mascot but we knew that you’d see it as a marketing ploy. Instead we give you a recent interview with Little O by a local newspaper reporter who got so frustrated with the interviewee’s antics, he decided not to finish the interview. So here, in a world exclusive, is that lost interview:
Can you stop jumping for a sec and tell us more about your life?
I literally jumped out of Mummy O and have been jumping around ever since. Doctors think it’s an anomaly whatever that means. They like to poke me and theorise how it’s possible for an O-shaped cartoon creature to be born to jump. None of the other O-shaped characters in the world are like this. Pac-Man is the closest and he’s born to eat. I jump. Big deal!
Seriously, do you mind if I hold you down for a second so I can ask you a few questions. Thank you. So let’s cut to the chase, what’s your favourite animal?
Kangaroos are one of the only perfect animals. They jump around to stay fit yet still have a pouch to keep pretzels, peanuts and babies (or all 3) with them at all times as they exercise. If anything I’m superior to the kangaroo because I’ve got a bigger pouch. It’s called my O-zone.
Tell us more about this O-zone of yours?
It’s like the middle of a doughnut but it’s not just air. It’s the coolest place ever to keep your stuff. I keep all sorts of odds and ends in there. Some of them are jumping aids for my less jumpy friends — jet packs (Figure A), rocket launchers and the like. It’s a bit of a bummer when you invite folks to the trampoline park and they can’t keep up with you. Sometimes you need to level the jumping field. I also keep fun things like stuffed kangaroos and chihuahuas (Figure B) in there. Kangaroos for obvious reasons. Chihuahuas because they are awesome and only a bit pointless — like Mexican jumping beans.
You’ve been jumping all around the place literally and topic-wise. So to summarise, what are your top skills?
Hiding things in my O-zone. Turning into round objects and jumping around like a mad thing.
Where do you live?
I used to live in the O-zone on the sign outside a trampoline park in West London. Now that I’m a bit of a big deal, I think I’m getting a penthouse above the mezzanine near the Big Ass fan (coolest spot in the place – prime real estate).
Why do you exist?
A bit of a big question for a little guy like myself, but let’s see what I can pull out… I guess I exist to show the world that the air’s better up at the top of your jump and that the more you experience it the more you’ll understand. It’s not flying. That’s for the birds. Astronauts call it zero-gravity. I’ve tried that too. It’s like floating and you feel a bit weird and going to the toilet is way too awkward. I’m all about moments of up and moments of down and getting into a rhythm where you’re taken to a new place. The best way to describe it is freejumping which is like freerunning but better for the knees and less “I’m bored so let’s run around this 60’s era council estate and not use the stairs or anything practical like that.”
What’s the biggest design flaw for humans?
Digestion. I can eat anything and then start jumping. I can eat while I jump. Humans have to wait til their stomachs digest their food or they might see if again (not in a good way).
What skills do you wish you could have?
The ability to turn my O-zone into a pizza or doughnut oven. Jumping is hungry work.
What’s the most pointless invention in the world?
Treehouse ladders. Not necessary. Well, at least not for me.
Let’s jump to the lightning round. I’m going to hit you with loads of questions so do your best to stay focssed and answer them before you bounce off home:
Favourite expression? Oh (can be used in both a positive surprising way and a “Oh wow, didn’t expect that sort of way”)
Favourite letter? O
Favourite game featuring an O? Noughts and crosses
Favourite letter in favourite game? Nought
Least favourite letter in favourite game: X
What do you call your old girlfriend — the one that thought you were a bit too jumpy? My X
Favourite hip-hop group that your dad introduced you to: Kris Kross and their hit single “Jump”
Favourite sport: anything played with a round ball (especially ones where I can be the ball and get all the attention)
Favourite film: 21 Jump Street
Favourite sequel to a film: 22 Jump Street
Favourite future sequel to a film: 23-30 Jump Street
Apologies, the interviewer abandoned the cafe at this point so that’s all Little O recorded on one of his three mobile phones. Hope you got a flavour of what he’s about. Apologies for the abrupt end. Little O thought it was going quite well apart from the four cups of coffee spilled on the interviewer.